Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Life's Second Chance

Right from the days when we enter school to crossing over to college and then to jobs each and every one of us has always prayed to God for a second chance in life. I remember when in school exams I used to realize a silly mistake, how I wished I had a second chance. Then in college, during practical exams, if one reading used to go wrong, I used to wonder why couldn't I have a remote control for life where I could rewind that one moment. How I wish I could have those days of college where having fun was the main agenda of life! When I was happy for that first Valentine gift, how I longed to live that moment again and again. I am not married, but I am sure those who are would think of that special time again and again, those with kids would always remember that particular moment when they held their newborn kid for the first time. The list can go on, but how many of us got that second chance to live those moments again?

I met a couple recently that was given a second chance in life. I was visiting my sister in Pune. Nothing special. I just love being there. I don't have an elder sister or brother, but when I am with her I never feel bad about it. Even their friends have accepted me as one of their own. I just love being there, in her house, with jijaji teasing her lovingly, with her dog always trying to draw my attention. This weekend was also no different. I was busy watching TV, hogging pizzas and sleeping. Then I on Saturday evening I got an invitation for an engagement party. Its sounds normal...but it was not. The engagement party was of an elder sister of one of the closet friend of my sister. The engagement was of Sabina and Sunil. It was going to be a second marriage for both of them and both of them have kids.

Sabina lost her husband in mysterious circumstances. He was in Navy ( I guess, I am not sure). He was going from Mumbai to Pune in train. Something happened in between and he didn't make it home. Sunil is divorced. Sabina has two kids, elder son in 9th and younger daughter in 5th. Sunil has two kids whose elder son is in 10th and younger daughter is in 8th. Both have kids old enough to understand what's happening in their parent's life. Yet, I saw them smiling though out the ceremony. With kids of this age, one wonders how did the kids accept it all. A person like me who watches a movie every weekend, I thought that, it would have been a highly melodramatic event. But maybe it's only in movies and not in real life just like one would never really shout "Kutte mein tera khoon pijaunga" in real life.

The ceremony was just like any other engagement party. Loads of stuff to eat, drink and smoke. The Bride to-be was looking ravishing in red and the Groom to be was looking smart in suit on a hot evening. Everyone was happy. Parents, friends and well wishers. Kids were taking their parents snaps. Sabina and Sunil were talking to everyone and smiling like every bride and groom does. If I would not have known the background, I would have had never realized that it was their second chance to life.

Every person has a right to live his own life. If they would have thought what the kids might say, they would have had spent their platinum years alone. It's a cycle of life. Birds learn to fly to leave their nest empty. So do kids after they are grown up. What life does our parents have when we leave for better opportunities? I guess every parent should be given a chance to live their life like they want. We kids always shout of generation gap. We kids always think that we live our parents dreams and we not given a chance to live our own life.... how many of us would encourage our parents who are alone to start their life with a new partner? How many of us would be happy if our parents would like a second chance in Life?

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

A little lesson from life...

You will never be happier than you expect. To change your happiness, change your expectation.

This is a famous happiness quote by Bette Davis

Happiness is relative to what we think, which age we are in and what ambitions do we have in life.

When I was a child, an orange candy could make me happy. As I grew up, my expectations from life changed and so did the definition for happiness. My happiness was linked to my mark sheet at sometime in life, and then it was linked to how I look, then to admission to a good college and then to getting a good job. When I look back, I realized I was never happy with whatever I had. It was like looking at the horizon and thinking if I'll reach there my journey would end. But we all know horizon can never be reached! It's just a trick, which our eyes play with us.

Ambitions and expectations are also like tricks that we ourselves create. We are never satisfied with what we have. We always want to achieve what others have. A simple example, imagine yourself in an auto-rickshaw standing on a traffic light. It's very hot. You are sweating like anything and cursing everything around you. And then you take a look outside your rickshaw. You see a Mercedes comes and stops right next to your rickshaw. The windows are rolled up, so definitely A/C is on. The people inside are looking as fresh as you must have looked before you stepped out from your home. Looking at them, I am sure you will instantly wish "If only I had that kind of car..." You have wished for something, which someone else has. You have made yourself unhappy for that moment.

I am not saying its wrong or right. Even I have wished for it at some point of time. All I am doing is, justifying the statement that our happiness is linked to our expectations from our lives. If we will always try to achieve someone else's dreams, how can we possible get time to achieve our own dreams.

There are many books in market, which tell you to "How to be happy" or something like that. I am not one of those. All I want to say is, through my life I have learned that to be happy I don't need to look on my side from a rickshaw, see a Mercedes and feel that I should have the same car. I can be very happy in my rickshaw too because at least I am not standing in the sun at a bus stop and waiting for the bus in the heat. I know what I can achieve and what I can't. After all, I am not perfect. But yes, I can try and be the best in whatever I do. Once I realize this, nobody could stop me from being happy.

A very dear friend of mine has said this - "Not everybody thinks like you, simply because they have not led the life you have been leading, so stop blabbering what you would have done." . So, this is certainly not a lecture on how you can be happy because only you can decide how you can be happy. It's just a little experience from my life. I hope it helps you too.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

A hard days night

It's been a hard day's night, and I been working like a dog
It's been a hard day's night, I should be sleeping like a log
But when I get home to you I'll find the things that you do
Will make me feel alright...

----Lines from a song of Beatles called "A hard days night".

Today when I got up in the morning, this song kept playing in my head. I don't know how it suddenly popped up in my head. But that doesn't deny one fact; I have experienced the same in last few days.

My alarm rings exactly at 5:45 in the morning and like a morning routine I shut it off and struggle to get out of bed. I sleep facing the window. Its still dark outside. It takes a huge will power to push myself out of bed, it's time for me to go for my daily swim. I open the door and see the door of Sonali and Rashmi still closed. Greed of sleeping little more over takes me and I climb into the bed thinking no one is going. Within 5 minutes a cute little head pop-ups over me. That's Rashmi, asking me to get up too. I drag myself out of bed and walk towards washbasin and start brushing. While brushing I think of the events that await me. The mailbox full of client mails telling us we are not working properly even though we work 12 hours a day, mails from colleagues who think poor jokes would make a person smile, mails from some stupid loan company in USA trying to sell loans to me in India! I look of out the window and see the sun coming out lazily too. Wish I could just go back to bed and sleep all through the day! Rashmi and Sonali are ready and I rush to keep up with them. By the time I am out of hostel I am happy that I got up. Swimming really refreshes me up for the day ahead. Get to meet people who are above 40 and still can win a race against me. This one-hour of swim is loads of fun and a little exercise too. In all a great start to a long and tiring day!

By the time I come out of swimming pool, sun is shinning and birds are chirping. The air is fresh and I feel I can take on the world and smile a little but when I think of the day ahead, my smile suddenly drops to a frown. The road to my office is full of dust and potholes. The traffic boils the blood and people don't stop honking even when they know no one is moving. Once I get back to the hostel, getting ready picks up speed. Not because I am eager to go to office, but because I am getting late. Some how manage to reach bus stop on time. I stand there to wait for bus and right ahead of me a small kid waits in front of me for money. He tries to make all sorts of faces, thinking I would feel bad and give him some money. But I just try to stop myself from laughing. Wonder where will he go if he is given a chance in our own Bollywood!!!

I can never miss my company bus. It's like a parrot, from deep jungles of Africa, who have suddenly found a place in Bombay. Its bright green, yellow and at some places orange too. Some windows don't have a glass pane and if there are then it wont close. Anyways, it provides safe means of transport to office for free, who am I to complain. Let people also enjoy the colors of life, what if it comes laden on a company bus.

As I enter the office, from a sleeper I turn fighter. Open my mailbox. Delete all the junk, read what is to be read and start the work. There are always last minutes changes, "Aaj hi jana hai" deliverables. The products, which went day before, came back with loads of changes along with a big bug sheet, with columns, which decides our salaries - " Bugs closed by team", "Bugs closed by reviewer". It's the matter of life and death while closing these bugs. I have lunch to fill up my stomach, rarely noticing how the food tastes. I rush back to my cubical and start the marathon race to finish everything before "EOD", which is the most frequently used word to say "End Of Day". Phones ring to tell me that I have missed something, while I try and change them; phone rings again to tell me leave it as it is. In between all this I have conference calls to attend to listen the client's complains, as if mails weren't enough. By the time the product is ready from my side its late evening and I have clearly missed my company bus back to hostel. I look out of the window near my seat for the first time of the day and look down at people rushing home. I feel sad at times, as I don't have home to go back to. No hot homemade food is waiting for me on the dinning table. The phone rings suddenly and I just feel like jumping out of the window. I try and answer the phone in normal tone but I clearly fail to do so. The person on the other hand say "Ohhhh...I guess we have missed one of the bug list" and I wonder what it is going to take for this day to end! I jump into work once again and try to finish off work in time to reach my hostel in time for the deadline.

By the time my day ends in office its 9 in the night. Work is done, though I know the next day I'll have a mail in my inbox from client with a big bug list attached. I am totally drained out and decide on taking an auto from office back to hostel. My mobile phone rings and I smile. It's a call from friends in hostel, who would be waiting for me for dinner. I am happy to leave office and go back to the hostel. Told them to keep food for me and not to wait.

The moment I reach the road, I feel like crying. The road is completely jammed. Nothing is moving! I just see in amazement. At 9:30 in the night, where do so many people come from? As if crowd on the road is not enough, people are hanging out of buses too. Forget taking the bus to hostel, its painful to even look at it. Can feel the pain of people who are crammed up inside it. What the hell...I start walking. Before I realize I have walked nearly half way. I stop and try and search for an auto. At last, I find one and try and relax since the day started. As soon as I relax, a big truck comes and stands next to my auto and blows all the black, polluted air it can gather into my auto. All I can do is curse the driver in every possible way! I reach hostel and when I look at the meter to pay the fare my heart skips a beat. Wished, I had taken that over-crowded bus. I pay the amount as fare, which would have got me a value meal in Mc Donald's. I try hard to look at the meter to see if it had been tampered with, but then decide what the heck. Maybe even this auto wala might have had a hard day. I decide to pay the fare and get out of the auto.

I cross the road, enter hostel and into my room. All my friends are chatting in my room and as soon as I enter their giggles and laughter greet me. Food is already there for me. Sonali and Rashmi got it for me. They sit around me, chat with me while I have my food. Rashmi is the first one to realize that there is no water to drink and Sonali is the first one to get up and get it for me. All of us talk about our day in office and I realize I am not alone. We laugh over silly matters and console each other on serious ones. Try to share some jokes, talk about movies and gossip about the other girls in our hostel. We try to forget about office and the tensions that come along with it.

Its 11 in the night and I realize I have hardly got time for myself. I force myself to read a book, but my eyes close. I decide its time to go to sleep. I switch off the lights and snuggle into my warm bed. It's a hard day ahead tomorrow. I close my eyes and feel happy to back to the place where I belong.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

The temple...Siddhivinayak


Siddhivinayak. It's a name, which brings hope, faith and respect for people in Mumbai and across India. With a major Ganpati festival approaching, I couldn't help but write about Ganpati bappa, who has ruled the city of Mumbai like anything. Nothing auspicious starts without his blessings. He is there at the entrance of the home, on meters on autorickshaw, on every shelf of gift shop. Marriages don't take place without him. We have siddhivinayak sweets, shiddhivinayak refreshments and a friend of mine, Vaibhavi, told me they even have siddhivinayak dairy! No other God can even come close to the popularity which our dear Ganpati bappa enjoys.

The temple of Siddhivinayak is situated at Prabhadevi. Some of my friends and I from hostel, decided to visit this temple one Sunday early morning. We decided on early morning because there is usually a long queue of people to visit this temple. To avoid the crowd we met at 6:30 at the entrance of the temple. One of the first things that struck me when I visited Siddhivinayak temple was the security. A friend of mine, Rashmi, had written in her blog - "At times it makes you wonder, who is this security for...for God or for us?" The same feeling even I experienced! The sand bags, the long sophisticated rifles, men in uniform, made me wonder - Are we at the right place? As we move on, the shock of security is replaced by the shock of sudden arrival of people all around us trying to sell "chadhava". "Hain madam idhar se lo...chappal idhar hi utar do...idhar phool ache hain..." Totally confused I just stopped where I was standing and someone came and pushed a basket loaded with sweets, garlands and aggarbattis into our hand. I looked around as to whom I should pay and comes a reply "Aree madam lelo, paise baad mein dedena!!" but then there no such thing as free lunch in this world. After the required things have been bought, all those people who were surrounding us suddenly vanish. Surprised, I look around and notice that they have moved on to some other approaching people. Then I realize, our faith is their business.

After all this, we move on for actual darshan. There is maze of bamboo that we had to cross to get inside the temple. Once inside we saw a small queue of people moving slowly. We went and joined the queue. Moving slowly and in no hurry I realized, that there was absolutely no crowd and I felt happy about it as we won't have to fight for one glimpse of God. If I had come on a Tuesday, which is considered to be the day of Lord Ganesha, I would had to wait for hours before I could even place my feet in temple.

Once inside, it seemed we were totally cut of from the world out side, the world of heavy security, traffic and pollution. In one corner a small speaker is playing soft chants. There is faint smell of flowers and agarbattis. No one is shouting or screaming. Its surprising, even children are quite and following there parents. Faith does wonders to all. In front of me in the queue was a young couple. Wife was holding a cute little bundle in her arms. The child was very young and was fast asleep too. I looked at the child and wondered has this child come with the faith in God or the life he'l live will make him believe in Him.

Ultimately we arrive for what we had come. The Idol of Ganesha is in striking saffron color with a silver dhoti and a gold crown sitting beautifully on his head. Its said that its one of the rarest idol of Lord Ganesha as it has its trunk on the left side. It's so loaded with garlands that you can only see an innocent face. The idol shines in loads of lights and gold that surrounds it and the roof. Everything inside is beautifully decorated. Looking at the idol, I forgot everything. The idol, though lifeless, gave me hope. Hope not only for me but also for everyone I know. Felt as if something there was pulling out all the negative energy inside me. It seemed that the moment had stopped, but then someone from behind said softly "Keep Moving" and I realized that there are others waiting behind me. I gave one last look and prayed for everyone I know and moved on.

Coming out I saw small group of people gathered in a group and I couldn't help but smile. There in front of me, in the center of the crowd, sitting proudly facing Lord Ganesha is a silver mouse, known as vehicle for Lord Ganesha, in Sanskrit Mushak, in Hindi Vahan. People believe if you say something in its ear, it gets conveyed to Lord Ganesha. Old, young, student, employed or unemployed everyone was trying there luck. Do I call this escapism or faith? Do I call this a ritual or blind faith or superstition? I choose not to question this. I sat down quietly and watched people making their wish into the ear of the mouse. After a while it was time to go. We got up and having a last look at Lord Ganesha we came out feeling refreshed, calm and positive.

I know some people do not believe in God. Even I, at times find it difficult to believe in something that is made of lifeless stone or wood. May be my belief in God is because in today's world when everything is corrupt, bad and ugly I need one thing to hold on to, one thing to believe in. I know God cannot do miracles for me. But by believing in him, I get faith, hope, strength and belief in myself and I believe that if I want I can create miracles for myself.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

A day in Mumbai Local trains

What do you imagine when you hear the word "Mumbai"? Preity Zinta, Hrithik Roshan, Sharukh Khan or BIG shopping malls, Mercedes, Skoda or sea, beaches and babes.

Well they are a part of Mumbai. But if you ask the same question to a person who has been living and working in Mumbai, you will get a different answer. The answer will be - Local trains, Local Buses, traffic police (mamu to be more precise) and beggars.

One weekend in Mumbai is enough to know how local trains work. Though it takes 1 hr for me to travel to town side but I never realize how the time passes. The journey starts at the ticket counter.The moment I enter the area where tickets are avaible the first thing that comes into my mind is, can I go back? Seeing the long line of people makes me wonder from where do all these people come from? With a heavy heart I join the long queue of people waiting to get a ticket. The moment I stand in line, there comes a small hand poking me. I look down and I realise a small child is begging. I try to shoo the child off but it keeps pestering. I try to ignore and to do time pass I look around and i see a big board with numbers on it and after looking at it for a long time and I realise its a list of ticket rates from various stations. By looking at it I try to figure out what amount i would be required to pay. But before i could figure that out, I land up on window and when the questions about my destination are shot back, I am totally confused!!! "Ticket for Chatrapati Shivaji Terminus"...single or return...chuta do...by the time I get out of the line I don't even know whether its the right ticket or did I get the proper amount. But when I look back I realize its more trouble to ask than to move on. Hoping that everything I have in my hand is correct I proceed to platform.

There is separate compartment for ladies. One time the eunuchs in Mumbai wanted a separate compartment coz they felt they couldn’t decide which one to take, ladies or gents. Locating a ladies compartment is little tricky. You have to rely on your animal instinct. Search for a similar looking species group and silently join it. The major tussle starts when the trains comes on platform. The dupattas are tight around the waist and the purses hung crossly and I suddenly feel what would happen if someone started playing a trumpet and shouted "Dhava Booolllll". Well, if that's not going to happen, some tricks come in handy like , to stand right in front of the crowd. The crowd will push you forward and in no time you'l be inside trying to search a place, not to sit but to stand. Its amazing to see so many ladies inside one small compartment.

Once a local newspaper did a research on the noise level in ladies compartment in local trains in Mumbai. They said its much higher than the safe decibel level for normal human ear and then i wonder what if Supreme Court set a noise level limit in ladies compartment. All ladies will die of suffocation. There is all kind of noise there. Someone is selling toys, edibles, clothes and someone if the far corner will shut "foreign chocolates" and every head will turn in that direction. You can find anything in local train. You want to dress up for an evening party you can get lovely earning, nail paints, lip liners and combs. Well, you cant be brand choosy in there, can you? Once I saw two friends talking among themselves. Looking at them i forgot all the noises that were surrounding me. They were deaf and dumb. They were talking through sign language. They laughed from heart but no one could listen. Suddenly, there is a high pitch noise singing the famous song of not so famous film and I am brought back to reality of my capability to hear. Small children singing, elder one playing harmonium and you wonder what life do they have? Their age is play in dusty grounds but for their parents that’s the age when they can earn the most. At times I really want to help a kid and give him money but then I seen young kids doing drugs and I restrain myself. I would rather prefer to give something to eat than to give money.

As stations pass, the train becomes less crowded. I do then what I love to do best. I stand on the door. I can see where the train turns like a snake in a dessert. I can see rows of houses passing so fast that I can just make out through colored lines. Makes me feel as if I am flying and free to go where ever I want to. The wind pushing through my hair, tears flying out from the corner of my eyes due to the force of wind on my face. I love it all. As the train picks up the speed, I sway a little with the motion of the train and i am detached from the world that is around me. I start thinking about various issues of life. The train pass a over-head bridge and I can't avoid looking at people living under it. With whatever little space that is available they have made a home for themselves. Children are playing on tracks, far in the corner someone is taking drugs trying to forget hunger. Seeing all this makes me wonder what forces them to stay and live such kind of life. Can't they take a decision to lead a better life and move on to some other place? What makes them stay here? What makes them happy even though they are not living a life worth living? At those moments I thank God for whatever I have and thank God for such caring and loving parents who took some right decisions in life and made our lives worth living.

Slowly and slowly the train reaches its destination and I didn't even realize that 1-hour has passed since I had climbed into this train. I get down and I realize my hair on head is standing, my dress is all ruffled up with the crowd in the train, and I might not be looking my best, but in the end I loved it. In the end I always learn something when I come out of the local train.

Local Trains which is famously called - Lifeline of Mumbai.

Friday, August 12, 2005

Happy Independence Day

Do we really need 15th August?

Today i was going through an article on the Nanavati report for riots that took place during 1984 when Indira Gandhi was assassinated. The way the writer wrote the article was very expressive but the most haunting line that caught me was the line with which he ended his article. Justice delayed is justice denied; and justice denied is a recruitment notice for separatism. This line made me think where does separatism fit in our country because don't we claim to the largest democracy of world?

India the largest democracy in the world is going to celebrate Independence Day just 3 days from today. India, which had become a symbol for "Non-Violence fight for Independence" for most of the countries that were under the British raj nearly 58 years ago. India's most important foreign policy is that of non-violence. But the same country has a history of 3 major riots that had ripped the country apart. The first was in 1984 in Delhi (capitol of India), second one in 1992-1993 in Mumbai (capitol of Maharashtra) and the third one just 3 years back in ahemdabad (capitol of Gujarat). Do we really believe in what we fought for? Where are going from here, post godhra, post black Friday (Mumbai riots) and post Nanavati Report?

How many of us are ready to stand when we hear our national anthem playing? When asked what caste, how many of us answer "Indian"? How many of us don't smirk at Muslims? How many of us eligible Indians vote? We as Indian have done nothing for our country. Whatever we have today was given to us who fought for independence and yet whenever we hear of such riots, we stand up immediately and blame govt. of India for it. No, the govt. is not wrong anywhere. It's us who stand wrong here. Who elected the govt.? We did. Those who are sitting on that chair are from among us. They reflect what we think, and the world is seeing what they have to show. We have done more harm to our country than those could do. We have stopped believing in our self. We have our self have divided our own country in the name of religion, in the name of minority and majority.

Of course, it's more convenient to be Indian when we are in USA rather than when we are in India. A person in USA would search for a dustbin to throw a piece of garbage, but the same person moving in Mercedes in India would just roll down the window and throw out garbage. A person USA would easily laugh at his country. What they forget is that they are laughing at themselves.

As the youth of India, it's our responsibility to stand up and say no to violence in the name of religion. Justice should be given to those who thought themselves to be God and took the decision of who should live and who should not. We should start respecting our country, our religion. We should start taking responsibility of our own actions. Its time to stand up whenever we hear "Jan Gan Man".... because blood doesn't come cheap nor does Independence. Happy Independence Day.

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Happy Friendship Day

"Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget." - G. Randolf

When we are born, we don't know anything. Whatever we know today, its foundation was laid by our own parents. Though the word "Friendship" was taught by my parents, its meaning was taught by my friends.

The joy of getting to know people other than our family starts when we enter school. There for the first time in our lives we make friends. The meaning of friendship at that time means sharing tiffin, sharing notes, holding hands, distrubuting sweets together in school on b'days. Those are innocent days when we dont think of future and leave in present.Those were the days when if our friends won we were happy for them. Those days, the meaning of friendship was simple.

Life never stops, and hence we move on from being little childern, to grown ups. The meaning of friendship changes from being simple to being possesive. The meaning of friendship changes to sharing secrets, infactutaions, clothes. We cocon out of the shelter of our parents and friends hold our hands n help us to see the world and handle little heart breaks, first valintines and first drive on vehical. We step out to experiment with life and the main indegrent are friends. We learn to laugh together, save 10 bucks to go out and njoy a tea on a wetty rainy day on street near your house. We learn that to enjoy life you don't need money, big flashy cars. What you need is a true friend!!! But then at this stage we also realise that if our friends won, we are not happy. We also want to win. This gives us ambitions in life and without realising we have learnt to fly with the help of our friends.

Our amibition takes us to new places. We meet new people and make new friends. Those who showed us the world, are left behind. Friends who walked beside us each day, who taught us to face the world, who taught us to fly are soon forgotten. New friends take their place. Sometimes we do miss those innocent days but soon learn to live with memories. This new world of ours include so many people. Some who are more than friends, some who become love of our lives but can never be friends, some are lucky to get love and friend in same person. Life is no longer simple. We learn to become diplomatic. Friendship is more of "What you can give!" than "What we can share!". In the haste to get money n fame, we at times forget to look beside us...and loose some of the gem of persons. In haste to prove ourselves right we forget who we end up hurting and loosing for our life.

When the life starts slipping out of hands, we then realise that we have lost so much in haste to win and win what? We have lost the innocense of friendship, warmth of holding each other, the slience of being for each other. Soon we realise that we are left alone. But its too late. We stand like an autum tree, all leaves have broken loose and left.

People might say friendship day is useless. But i beg to differ here. Its the day when you can reach out to those who are left behind. Its the day when you can really stop and see who are standing beside you and who are waiting when you'l look around you and smile at them. Because true friendship can get lost with a wink of an eye!!! Let this day be a toast to all my friends who made me what i am today. Though i have fallen so many times...but for my friends my faliure wasn't permanent. That's why i want to dedicate this day to all my friends. Happy friendship day!!!

Friday, August 05, 2005

A day which took more than 48 hrs to end

Well the sun is shining again today. BEST are working and trains are running on time. They say mumbai is back to normal. But is it?? People who are safe won't say its normal. People who have seen worst won't get over it for their whole life.

The day 26th July: Started normally for all. It was the usual office day. People got up, had breakfast and stepped out of their house...and many like me must have said "oooppppss...forgot my windshetter (or umbrella)". But no one realised that its going to take more than 48 hours for this day to get over.

My seat in office is next to window. When everyday i look out i can see planes taking off to far off lands...that day i couldn't even see The Leela Hotel across the road! The winds were blowing so fast and it was raining like mad. But living in mumbai for 4 years made me have a false security feeling that its going to stop soon. I didn't even bother to open any news site to see if everything is fine out of my 4 walls of office. Mail came at 4 in the evening. People should leave if they want "After taking permission of their PMs!!!" That time it seemed funny...now it doesn't.

I went down and had my evening tea n snacks. Didn't realise even then that its bad. When i came upstairs to my seat, I for the first time saw panic in the eyes of people and realised that the situation is bad. People went down and came back within an hour. There was neck deep water everywhere. Everyone decided to stay in office. Lights went out. No water. Basement got flooded. Mobile network jammed. The only way we could our mind at peace was to keep ourslves busy. We played antakshari, saw F.R.I.E.N.D.S on PC, played cards. People fought water and went down to get something to eat. Office provided dinner and snacks. Slept on chairs. People who came back told the stories of childern being swept away, BEST overturning due to the force of water. There were people missing from our office, who went out never to return. One guy in our office was found dead near SAHARA airport.That guy used to sit next to me for JAVA traning. He was planning to give JAVA certification.

The day 27th July: Got up at 5:30. The water had gone down to walkable level. People started gathering in groups to walk down home. I walked from my office(Andheri(E)) to Ghatkopar station in 2 hours. The way was bad. Father searching for his daughter, buses aboundended, big block of road washed off! It resembled a ghost town. Reached Ghatkopar station and frist sight of relief was a tapri selling hot wada-pav. Wet and cold it was a blessing. Had that before starting off again. Ghatkopar(E)....completely flooded. Somaiya grounds completely flooded. Took lift in a car, in a big tempo and somehow managed to reach Ghatkopar Depo near Eastern Express Highway. There what i saw i won't be able to forget whole my life. People everywhere, some begging and some trying to steal a seat in any vehical that is moving. Well a vehical that was moving was a big thing coz nothing was moving!!! It was a mother of all chaos!!! Started walking with only one aim...that is to reach Amar Mehal. Tired, soaked to skin and hungry. But one thing in mind kept us going. Reach home. Reached amar mehal. The site i saw didn't resemble anything like amar mehal i reach everyday to catch my office bus. The water was everywhere. First it was knee deep, near Sahakar it was waist deep and some distance ahead it was sholder deep. Just reach home and everything would be alright. That one was one thing that kept me going. Well there were some moments that brought smile on my face...a cute little dog swam past me, kids diving in water. Not all was that bad. Reached hostel to find uday mama n gang having fun. The site of hostel was a big relief and a surprise too. The ground floor was totall flooded. The TV room empty but filled with water. Office had books and papers floating in water. Mess completly submerged in water. I climbed upstairs and first thing i saw was sonali. Only thing that came to mind was "I am alive" and second thing was "I wanna go loo" . That was 2 in the afternoon. From 6 till 2 i was walking and it didn't feel like that. Coz the relief that i was alive and all people in hostel are safe...was more than enough.

The day 28th July: Water has suddenly vanished. Mobile was catching network again. Rushed outside on road and called ma. Hearing there was i felt i have heard God! She started crying but i couldn't. I knew it would make it all the more bad. Papa and ma were happy that i am ok. I was happy that i could talk to them. Felt like pinching myself. Battery was totally gone. Just wanted to let everyone know that i am ok. Messaged binny and mobile went off. Well, we went out to see how everything was. It cannot be described in any way. Shoppers Stop flooded. The stories that came when people started returning was even worst. Some saw dead bodies floating in water. Some were stranded on some or the other station for whole 2 days. People walked from VT or churchgate to reach tilak nagar, some had spent the whole night at the stairs of shoppers stop!!! After hearing such stories i realised that i didnt even see 2% of it!

The day 29th July: I am back in office. It all seems like a big bad dream. But i know its not. The expression of people's face say its not. The look of the roads say its not. The newspaper headline say its not. The tears in the eyes n voice of people say its not. The fact that i saw and heard it all says it all. The fact that i am alive, all my friends are alive says it that it was not a dream. Thank God!

The aim for writting this mail is not to make you feel bad or sad. The only aim is the realisation i want to share with you all that no matter how much we fight, we dis-agree with everyone. In the end we all care for each other. No matter if we mark you in cc of mails, it indicates that we want to be in touch. No matter how far we are from each other, the safety of each and everyone matters to us. No matter if we are friends or sisters...we all are one life and its the most precious gift that god has given to us.I want to thank sonali for worring about me, want to thank kartik and swapna for calling my parents and keeping their hope alive, want to thank mamta and pushpa for their messages asking for our safety. Want to thank everyone who prayed for me and called to see if i am ok....because in the end nothing else counts. Its all very small in front of being alive...and i am happy that i am.