RUN!!!

“What are we waiting for Ashish? Let’s head back.”

“Mommy what happened? Is there a big fire?” Ria asked.

Anya pulled my hands, “Mommy, let’s go! I am very scared”.

“Ok, Ok. Let’s go. I just wanted to check the news if there is any mention of this attack. Let me just call Shalini and let her know we are coming back”, Ashish said to me.

Just as he looked at the phone, I saw a huge crowd running towards us. I saw people throwing their shopping bags, their phones and shouted … “RUNNNN!!! Run!!!” 

It felt like a huge Tsumani wave that is rushing towards you and the time just froze. I saw a guy fall down, with his belongings on the road. He got up, didn’t even think to collect what spread on the road and started running. I saw confused looks on faces of others. Slowly, my brain started processing everything around me and I came back to life. I didn’t even blink or see anything else. I just held on to Anya tight and Ran.

“Mommy, I do not want to die! What is going on?” Anya screamed and started crying. I tried to wipe her tears, as tears starting gushing out of my own eyes. This is not how it’s supposed to end!

“Nothing will ever happen to you, just hold mommy’s hand tight”. All this while I was scared to turn around, what if the shooter is right behind me. I felt a chill run down my back and I just wanted to wake up from this bad dream!

Gosh! Where are Ashish & Ria! I had to look back, I forced myself to look back praying that I don’t find myself at the end of a gun. Then I saw Ashish running with Ria in his arms and pointing to a small alley.

It was the weekend before Thanksgiving. We were talking about where we could go for long weekend. London seemed a good option and it seems we could get seats easily. Also, the added attraction, my cousin Shalini, whom I had not met for years. There were years where we would talk to each other on phone atleast 3 times a day besides the time we would walk together to school or meet at our favorite place Fateh-Sagar. We would laugh more than we talked and people claimed they knew we were coming from our laughter! The years we spent together, would never come back but the memories that we had built together will never fade.

So, it was decided…London it was! We packed four carry-on bags and set on a journey across the pond. I had always wanted to visit London, since the time I read Agatha Christie or Jane Eyre or Wuthering Heights. I always imagined what London would look like, the old smoky city with Mary Poppins flying over the sky. Or will it look like the city Sherlock Holmes roamed around with big magnifying glass. Or maybe I’d get to see muggles mixing with wizards flying on brooms! I couldn’t contain my excitement when we landed in London. As I walked out of the airport with my kids besides me, I could hardly contain my excitement. I had a feeling it would be a great trip.

We made through the long ride in Tube to Shalini’s house. She was there, waiting at the door and pepping out with her usually bright sunny smile. The time just froze. All the memories came flooding back. The hug lasted for hours and tears won’t stop. It took us 8 yrs to finally meet and we didn’t want to let go. I couldn’t believe it, we were here. We caught up on our past years, laughed on old memories and its special when its not just you and your sister but your husband joins too. After all we were part of one KANVAS.

We spent the first day visiting Sky Garden, Tower Bridge and Tower of London. Couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw Kohinoor and thought it looked incredibly small. Kids went around in every room hoping to see the queen! I marveled at the architecture, going from one room to another, wondering how it would have looked during the days when the queens and kings were real. I stood longer in front of the pictures which showed the London 100-200 yrs back and it was hard to imagine that such a London was real. Now it’s like any other city with tall glass buildings merging into one another.

Next day, Shalini promised she will meet us at Oxford Circus to go out with kids. Her daughter was the first cousin my kids met. They jelled in perfectly fine giving us the glimpses of our childhood together. The constant giggling, chatting and playing, I wonder where they got it from! Morning was dedicated to the Queen…we went to see Buckingham palace to see change of guard. We were late, and there was a massive crowd. We plopped kids on our shoulders and tried to get as much as we could of the show. Among all this, Anya shouts – “Does the Queen know, she is missing a good show!” Everyone around us laughed.

From there we walked through Hyde Park enjoying the lovely fall weather. Kids made snow fairies in the fallen leaves, we had our warm coffee in our hand, which tasted amazing and I thought to myself, this couldn’t have been more perfect! Ashish and I held hands while kids walked in front of us. We walked to various attractions - 10 Downing Street, Westminster abbey, Big Ben (getting a face lift) and clicking pictures with the iconic Telephone with tinny little crown on it. Kids loved every bit of it, taking as much as they could. Finally hungry we decided to go to Nandos near 221b Baker Street. This was a dream come true. I was smiling ear to ear clicking picture on the street. God only knows how many Sherlock Homes novels were read comfortably snuggled into bed.

Like mom wanted to visit Sherlock Holmes, girls wanted to ride in iconic London buses. They were so excited to sit on the upper level of the bus, something we could relate to since we both lived in Mumbai. We made ourselves comfortable in a near empty bus and called Shalini that we are on our way. Shalini mentioned she was running late and would join us soon as possible. From far we saw the big angles hanging in the sky near and the beautiful Christmas lightings. Slowly, bus stopped moving and came to a halt. We were wondering what is going on and heard multiple sirens going on. Then a guy with small kid looking scared walked to our bus and said, you better get down. Something has happened at Oxford Circus station and the police have blocked the area.

We got down and started to walk towards the station trying to understand what is going on. We saw few reporters infront of BBC building talking to people with their cameras ready and talking to anyone who wanted to give a story. Another lady stopped us and said to turn around and leave because there has been a blast. The mention of it made me panic. Anya understood everything and got nervous tugging my hands and asking us to go back to Shalini Masi’s house. As we walked closer to the station, the panic in the air grew. Kids got nervous and we were not sure what is going on.

“What are we waiting for Ashish? Let’s head back.”

“Mommy what happened? Is there a big fire?” Ria asked.

Anya pulled my hands, “Mommy, let’s go! I am very scared”.

“Ok, Ok. Let’s go. I just wanted to check the news if there is any mention of this attack. Let me just call Shalini and let her know we are coming back”, Ashish said to me.

Just as he looked at the phone, I saw a huge crowd running towards us. I saw people throwing their shopping bags, their phones and shouted … “RUNNNN!!! Run!!!” 

It felt like a huge Tsumani wave that is rushing towards you and the time just froze. I saw a guy fall down, with his belongings on the road. He got up, didn’t even think to collect what spread on the road and started running. I saw confused looks on faces of others. Slowly, my brain started processing everything around me and I came back to life. I didn’t even blink or see anything else. I just held on to Anya tight and Ran.

“Mommy, I do not want to die! What is going on?” Anya screamed and started crying. I tried to wipe her tears, as tears starting gushing out of my own eyes. This is not how it’s supposed to end!

“Nothing will ever happen to you, just hold mommy’s hand tight”. All this while I was scared to turn around, what if the shooter is right behind me. I felt a chill run down my back and I just wanted to wake up from this bad dream!

Gosh! Where are Ashish and Ria! I had to look back, I forced myself to look back praying that I don’t find myself at the end of a gun. Then I saw Ashish running with Ria in his arms and pointing to a small alley. I made a dash for it! We found a back entrance to a bank and quickly went in. As soon as we got in someone locked the door behind us. I saw around 50 people on the stairs leading up to the upper level. Some were crying and some were just dazed. I didn’t know how many of them actually saw the event happening and how many just like us were running from the unknown. I saw a woman looking out of the window and instantly I thought, what if the shooter breaks into this little shelter, that window would be a good escape! We didn’t know was going outside. We tried looking up on phone, but the news channels didn’t have any updates. We called up Shalini and she said the same. No one knows what happened and there are no details on the news.

Sitting there on the stairs, trying to calm Anya and Ria, I still couldn’t believe this happened to us. This is something you listen on the news, not become a part of the news. I didn’t even want to think of how this will impact them. Where is the world going? I just couldn’t stop hugging them, fearing the worse. This is the new reality, hiding in stair cases, students being taught to save themselves during active shooting or running away! I thought we had left the middle ages behind. For the first time I knew what fear looks like, for I looked at in those innocent eyes holding my hands tightly. I looked at the fear in the eyes of my babies. As a mother, it ripped my heart out!

After 30 mins, we saw people walking outside. We just couldn’t sit here all night long and found the courage to step out. As I stepped out, I looked on the side to see the road we just came from! It felt weird and I just turned away to walk in the opposite direction. With Anya by my side, Ashish in front with Ria, we decided to move on. Now, I understood the full meaning of saying if you get scared you let them win! We went on to enjoy rest of our trip. I met my fabulous friends from St. Mary’s (Sonal, Sanchita and Deepali), from Mumbai (Prashant and Swati), went to Windsor Castle and made it to platform 9 ¾ on Kings Cross! On our way back to US, seeing Anya and Ria enjoying Captain Underpants in the plane I knew we would be OK!